By LISA BACKUS
Staff writer

The anguished sound of the officer’s shouts say it all. “C’mon Marty, breathe, breathe, just take one more breath, I’m with you, breathe.”

The cop identified only as Gary is alternating between screaming orders and begging for Marty’s life.

Other officers try to intervene but Gary remains steadfast in his grief and pain as he fights to save Marty’s life, “He’s breathing, he’s breathing, I’m doing it, I’m doing it, one, two, three, four, five, c’mon breathe.”

After what seems like an eternity the voice of an EMT can be heard calmly assessing the situation. “Shot at close range? Yeah, he’s gone. You see his pupils dilated? He’s gone,” the EMT says.

The audio is an actual radio call where an undercover surveillance team is struggling to save the life of one their own, said Sgt. Clarke Paris of the Las Vegas, Nev., Metropolitan Police.

It’s the type of event that will mark a police officer’s life - with alcoholism, torn relationships and even suicide. It’s the type of event that Paris hopes will inspire other officers to seek help.

“So when you’re done after dealing with something like this, you drink and cry and have bad dreams but you say you’re OK,” Paris told the crowd of about 180 officers and law enforcement officials Tuesday. “They say if it bothers you, you’re not a good cop.”

Paris was at Central Connecticut State University Tuesday to offer another way out of the constant stress of incidents large and small that may haunt an officer’s personal life and career. In his video, “The Pain Behind the Badge,” Paris allows other cops to talk about the events that have shaped their careers and driven them nearly to the brink of suicide.

But he offers hope by explaining that police departments and their staff need to break the stereotype of the silent-but-suffering cop by taking the stigma away from accepting help. “Most people don’t see a dead body until grandma or grandpa die, but we see them all the time,” he said. “This has nothing to do with how strong you are. If you need help, you can’t do it yourself.”

The day-long conference shaped around “The Pain Behind the Badge” video and Paris’ presentation was sponsored by the Connecticut Alliance to Benefit Law Enforcement with the Institute for the Study of Crime and Justice at Central Connecticut State University.

Other speakers included State Police Sgt. Troy Anderson, coordinator of the Connecticut State Police Offering Peer Support “S.T.O.P.S.” program and Ron Clark, CABLE board chairman.

“I think the general public thinks the cops are superhuman and should be more than prepared for the job,” said CABLE executive director and founder Louise Pyers. “They get good training, but they don’t get psychological training for things that would bother any normal person.”

Paris explained the cumulative effect that stress has on an officer’s body. During the ordinary “flight or fight” response that most people have, officers can’t usually take the flight option and are forced to remain steady in the face of danger, he said.

He also showed how post-traumatic stress syndrome, which can be caused by years of dealing with horrifying or seemingly ordinary incidents on the job, can affect the brain’s chemistry. And how good psychological counseling after an incident can bring the brain back to normal.

“I think the pictures show it all,” said New Britain Lt. Stanley Masternak, who attended the conference with several members of the police department’s Crisis Negotiation Team. “Just the examples that we’re getting here will help because a big part of speaking to someone in a crisis is actually being able to talk to them and not just tell them to get help, but how to get help.”

Paris used compelling personal stories and other video props to illustrate his point. In one video an officer wrestles with a man who escaped from prison. A crowd of a few dozen people stand by but none jumps in to help. As the officer is rolling on the ground with the suspect, his radio goes flying, making it impossible to call for backup. He can feel the suspect bumping against his gun but can’t tell if he’s grabbing for it. The officer finally uses a “choke hold,” which is legal in Nevada, to subdue the man.

After giving a play-by-play narration of the action, Paris admits that he’s the cop in the video and then explains the incident from a different perspective. “At 10 or 11 seconds I’m thinking, this isn’t going good,” he recalls. “At 15 to 20, I’m thinking I hope he’s getting as tired as I am. Am I wearing my bullet proof vest? Did I put it on? Did I kiss my son today?”

He then recalls how he dealt with the aftermath when help finally arrived. “I didn’t say, “I didn’t think I was going to kiss my son again,’” he admitted. “Of course I said, ‘Here, look at the video and let the old man show you how it’s done.’ I thought I had to kill somebody or my partner had to get shot for it to get to me.”

For more information on the video or Paris’ presentations, go to ThePainBehindTheBadge.com.